“Suicide isn’t a great act. Suicide is selfish! Do you hear me? It’s SELFISH!”
‘He held both of her shoulders and shook them. The shoulders of a body not suffering from personhood anymore. He looked at her dead eyes, her pale face, her dry lips and what I heard next was a catastrophic sob. He hugged her and kissed her forehead and rested her on the floor again.
He took her hands on his hands and noticed that she was still wearing that cheap bracelet he made her with paper and string, kissed it gently and then took it off her hand. He kept that bracelet carefully in his pockets and promised Veneza that he’ll find another hand for it. He did that because she left him an email before the incident in which she asked him to do so.’ I said and paused for a few minutes while I saw her expression change from frustration to guilt. I continued ‘That’s why he got so mad at you when you said you have it somewhere at home. It means a lot to him, Lisha. It’s been almost three years to Veneza’s death. He dated a couple of girls after her but he always felt guilty. He always felt like he was cheating on the great love of his life and when he finally found a girl who deserved to get that place in his heart he gave the bracelet to her but she said that it was SOMEWHERE at her home.’ I explained.
Lisha was crying now. She was guilty and she should be! Nobody knows Samar better than me. Nobody. I’ve been his friend since he was ten. He’s aware of my feelings for him but he showed no interest in me. So I accepted it. I didn’t say a word. I was probably not his type and I was fine with that. What was his type, after all? Ungrateful girls like Lisha? I didn’t console her anymore. That wasn’t my job. My job was just to tell her how fucking lucky she is. My job was to make her feel guilty for her behavior. And that was done.
((Note: I’m a huge fan of John Green and you may find things like ‘suffering from personhood’ and maybe some other sentences like this which are a part of his amazing creation not mine.))